Happy October! It's been a while, but we're back with full force motivation, and I hope it meets you all in great spirits. I've been on hiatus for a brief moment as I walked the enlightening line of transition, y'all. Now that the husband and I are down to just the two of us, and our children are doing their young adulting thing (yay for getting them to this stage of their lives), it's time to blossom on a different level. The pandemic taught us that now is the time to do all the things we've always wanted. That said, I've settled into the empty nest and I'm excited about what's to come. I have a few projects in the works all at once, because well that's just how my creative brain operates. So when I tell you I'm buckling down to a strict schedule to get it all done, expect this blog to evolve to new heights! My readers—you all—are important to me and I have missed our virtual communication.
Now let's get to my point for this lovely Friday. New stages and accomplishment always ignite reflection for me. On my mind as I sat down to write, is how expectations manifest in my life. Then, a reflection of my younger self quickly reminded me of how I once conducted myself, compared to how I now move as a self-assured woman. A major difference is how I view expectations. Yes, the clarity of expectations are important. This full grown version of myself is predicated with concrete boundaries. The things I once let breeze past me, even though they didn't set well with my spirit, would never fly in this juncture of my life.
These situations don't necessarily have to be anything deep. I'm talking basic day-to-day occurrences where we don't realize that our negative expectations are manifesting their ugly heads. I've learned that if we leave gray margins for our expectations in life, and our wants are unclear, the wiggle room will affect what we ultimately accept. Simply put, if you expect drama in your life, you'll accept drama in your life. If you expect peace and love in your life, you'll accept peace and genuine love, nothing less.
Have you ever thought about why you accept certain treatment? People in your life who simply don’t give you what you need, or they don’t match your vision? Yet, you continue to accept them because of familiarity. You can’t quite figure out why you run full speed on that hamster wheel even though nothing changes, and your needs aren't being met. And as always, this could be any relationship type, from platonic friendships, to family to love lives. Could it be this is what you expect from others?
How many times have you vocalized your wants, your must-haves, and those things you simply will not compromise on? But then you accept those very things in the next breath, and spend so much of your time being depressed or vexed about them. This is where acceptance and expectation collide. Even though we may speak what we want, we have to believe that we deserve those things, and then expect them with no inhibitions. If deep down you don’t really believe you deserve "it" (whatever that may be), you will accept people, words and actions outside of the margin you created. This is why I roll my eyes extra hard when I hear vague statements like—
“Well, that's just what people/family/friends do.”
"That's how it has always been . . . ”
“All men/women do that.”
Beauties, when we subscribe to the vagueness that every instance or person is the same, our level of expectation will never elevate. And therefore, what we accept in our lives will likely remain the same. There are some who are content and do not wish for higher levels of peace. As a matter of fact, many folks carry the bright flag of not ever changing their mindset, and that's fine too. Do you and do you well. I'm all for living your life on your desired level.
But this message is for those who want their inner expectations to align with their outward acceptances. I navigate life knowing it is to be experienced. I'm of the belief that God put us here to experience what the world has to offer in abundance. Will you be happy everyday? Absolutely not. Still, you can be fulfilled and have expectations of greatness. As you begin this new month and move forward, remember that you accept what you expect. That's it. That's the token to keep in your pocketbook until you're ready to invest it elsewhere. May your weekend be filled with whatever you want, however you want it.
Peace, love and light to all!