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The Mind Gets Tired Too: Give it a Rest, Sis

Hello, Beauties! At a time when negative happenings are going on all around us, we could all use a reminder to maintain our positive mindsets. I've written about resetting the mind, but how about giving it a rest altogether? Allow me to pose a question. If you were challenged with the task of climbing a flight of stairs with a heavy box in your hands, and your arms and legs start to give out on you, what would you do? I'm sure the great majority of you instantly thought, "I'd put that bad boy down", or something along those lines. So now, let's think about a different scenario. If you have a range of emotions stemming from thoughts that are holding you back, such as "I'm not where I want to be in life", or "Why haven't I met the good man I know I deserve", and those thoughts depress you, what do you do with them? They have the same heavy effect as the box did on your body, except this time the weight is wearing on your brain. The only logical thing to do is to put it down, right? Yes, I know that sounds easier than it actually is, and you're probably like . . .

Trust me, I know the feeling of hearing a way out of something that sounds so simple, but really is challenging as hell. I don't like to give advice on anything that I myself haven't lived and experienced. I was once a woman who absorbed every negative thought and the toxic feelings that went with them. I spent hours upon hours telling myself lies about what I assumed other people were thinking—what others expected or thought of me. It was also my daily habit to obsess over what I could've done better the day prior, or what horrible thing might happen next week, and so on. I had a hard time getting out of my own head and that held me back from living. Yes, I was breathing, but I existed in a funk, y'all. My brain had no reprieve. Talk about doing it the wrong way. Still, I carried those negative thoughts; couldn't put them down. And as I often share with you all, the way you think equals the way you feel, and vice versa. Mind. Body. Spirit. It's not just a catchy phrase, it's a real connection.

The most effective mental change I've adopted is to stop taking things personally. We don't realize how much we do this. It's a cultural mindset that holds us back from our spiritual freedom. I'll give you a common example. So, you go into a grocery store and the attendant has a nasty attitude, gives you no eye contact, nor did she speak back when you greeted her. Our first reaction is to what? Take it personally. Why does she have an attitude with me? When the truth of it is, the attendant doesn't even know you. Maybe it's been a long day and she just got chewed out by her manager. Even worse, she could've gotten bad news from her doctor that morning, but still had to go in to work. Either way, we often get in our feelings and our ego tells us that her lack of friendliness was about us. Now, what's the outcome of that? You've allowed a total stranger to affect your mood, and you leave the store with frown lines etched into your beautiful face, then jump on the phone with your bestie to talk shit about how rude the lady was.

Such a waste of energy and mental space when the action was never personal in the first place. Believe it or not, small situations like that put strain on your mind, and your body follows suit. Like now, check and see if your jaws are clenched while reading this. Are you relaxed, or is your body tense? I want to challenge you to do a self-check at least three times a day. A brilliant woman once told me that our bodies keep score. And she was right. When we tense up, it's usually a response to a familiar emotion. Our brains are telling our bodies to beware because we've been here before. My message today is give your mind a rest. If we imagine better scenarios, instead of the negative ones we feed our minds, the body won't be as stressed. And guess what? We can live easier lives. We don't have to absorb all the negativity that happens around us.

So the next time you make an assumption that causes you to react in a negative way, remember that your thoughts affect your feelings, and you are in control of what you think. If it's heavy and negative, find a way to lay it down. Onward and upward, lovely people! Positive vibes and growth to all.

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