Every Woman Needs A Safe Space

If you look to the left and right, or just flip on your television, there is so much happening in our world that it makes you dizzy. There’s no way around facing turbulent times, and the negative news just won't stop. Still, we have to take actions to slant our mindset elsewhere if we want to maintain a good spirit. After all, we have no control over other people's actions or life's challenges. Like an older woman told me once, "worrying won't do nothing but give you wrinkles, baby. It sho'nuff ain't gon' solve the problem". I was a twenty-something at that time and her words didn't register the way they do now. Honey, because the way these forties are setup, I am not trying to be stressed, vexed nor wrinkled.

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That said, let's discuss what we can control. We definitely have control over our inner-peace. It takes some discipline and focus, but it's very much possible. We have complete control over how we choose to react to people or situations. We can create our safe spaces. I'm talking about a place of serenity where you can relax your mind and let your spirit be free. Every woman needs one. Especially, in this world where yesterday and tomorrow may be on opposite ends of a spectrum. Simply put, you never know what to expect, and you have to prepare a place for yourself to release negative energy. Now, ladies if you do this, and then come out of your safe place to entertain toxicity, then your efforts will be in vain [see my earlier posts, 'You Accept What You Expect' or 'Clear the Clutter, Manifest the Vision'].


So, what exactly is a safe space? We hear it often used in psychological jargon as an environment to openly speak without judgment. It is a place where you have emotional and physical safety. It’s free of negative criticism; an environment where you can exhale all of the outside uglies and be fully free within your mind and spirit. The space I'm referencing doesn’t need another person involved to be deemed safe. It's about moments of solitude.


So here are my 4 must-haves for a safe-space:


  1. Find a spot; a solace place just for you where you can meditate or pray. This space has to be somewhere you can block out noise (no TVs blaring; no dings from FB or IG). It can be a spacious closet, a bedroom, a study, etc. As long as you can tune into your inner voice without interruption, you’re good to go.

  2. Surround your space with pillows, pillows, and more pillows! Sometimes you need to lay back and release all the tension in your body by letting a fluffy body pillow catch you. Even if you don’t lie down, having pillows in your safe place provides an aesthetic of comfort. Visuals matter when trying to refocus or clear your mind.

  3. Get yourself a journal and a good pen. “But I hate writing,” I can hear some of you saying out loud right now. This is something I strongly encourage you to have even if writing is not your thing. Your brain is constantly storing and processing information, which at times are negative thoughts and worries. With a journal, you can jot and release those thoughts. That way, they have a place to go and can stop living in your head rent free. Just saying.

  4. Keep an inspirational book handy in your safe-space. For some, this is whatever book of faith you read (Bible, Quran, Torah, etc.), and for others it’s a self-help book or your favorite memoir. Whatever you choose, get yourself a book that you can pop open and read a few words to uplift your spirit. Take it from me, it'll be like the voice of your guardian angel reminding you to shake back and all will be better soon.

  5. Always have your favorite candle nearby. Think about it. It's quiet, you're lying down or seated in a meditation pose, and your favorite candle scent is wafting through the air. You can even add in a glass of wine if that's your vibe. Whatever gets you to a point of relaxation, go for it!


Until next time, may your days be a bit easier by controlling the things you can control. Remember, your mindset is up to you. Peace, love and light to all!